Boundaries and Joy this Holiday Season
The holiday season, regardless of how you celebrate it, comes with a unique vibe all on its own. You notice the temperatures change, the days get shorter, things start to feel busier, and grocery stores display advent calendars and Christmas chocolates seemingly right after Halloween. Maybe you start feeling like sleeping a little longer, watching those corny - but amazing - Hallmark holiday films, drinking more hot chocolate or elaborate festive-themed lattes, and pulling out your Nordic print warm layers.
Maybe.
Or maybe, the holiday season feels more like a blur of stress, family conflicts or awkwardness, financial pressure, crossed boundaries, and general excessiveness. You lose yourself in trying to meet unreasonable expectations or trying to avoid expectations altogether. Maybe you carry the brunt of the mental load for your family and run out of steam for yourself.
Maybe.
It’s okay if either version sounds like you or some contradictory combination of both rings true.
Christmas and the holiday season have you feeling drained and depleted? You are not alone!
Let’s start by normalizing the common challenges felt and experienced by people like you - aka everyone - during the holidays.
-
Blended family, in-laws, ongoing conflict and trauma, estrangement, feuds, conflicting stances on “heated” topics, unresolved experiences, hidden feelings.
-
Performing a certain way, upholding traditions, avoiding disappointment, quality or quantity of gifts, travelling to visit everyone, creating “cheer.”
-
Guests overstaying welcome, unsolicited advice, overindulgence in food or alcohol, saying “yes” to all events/parties, entertaining and catering to others.
-
Overspending, debt, stretching funds further with more purchases needed, pressures to buy, boxing day sales, comparisons of financial status.
-
Family stigmas about food and body shape, “temptations,” falling into diet culture post-holidays, guilt and shame.
-
Disrupted routines, increased mental loads, people-pleasing or mediating family members, guilt around taking time “off” or time for self.
If you relate to any - or all - of these common challenges, it’s helpful to first name and normalize these feelings. This sounds like “I am feeling overwhelmed, and that’s okay. Others get overwhelmed during Christmas too!” Next, try exploring where the feeling comes from. Is there something you need? Is there a boundary you’d like to set? Can you ask for help? Is there something you’d really like to NOT do/buy/participate in this holiday season?
How do you figure out what you really need? Try this:
Grab your favourite journal and commit to 10 minutes to figure out your desires this holiday season (this is SO MUCH more than your Santa wish-list!)
Journal Prompt: How do I want to feel this holiday season? Without self-editing (no erasers!), let it flow and write down everything that comes to mind.
Once you have your deepest desires on the page, you can get to work implementing small, reasonable shifts. You might also try pulling from your toolkit of strategies for navigating these challenges. How?
Download the FREE workbook below. And may your holidays be genuinely JOYFUL.
